laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
