It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
