dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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