I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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