great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
