I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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