i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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