He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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