she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just invented taco cereal.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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