Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
