She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
