Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drunk is not a location!
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