it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
