wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
