have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
