i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
