So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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