I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
