please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
only you would photoshop your dick
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
