and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
