I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
