Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
