you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
