i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
