Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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