Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
