he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bring money and cleavage
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize