it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
