How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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