eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
