You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
