Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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