one might say we're banned from that church
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
