PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
