so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
