Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
