hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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