well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
