New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
