whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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