dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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