i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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