sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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