heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
