You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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