Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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