How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
