Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I checked into jail on foursquare
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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