I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
