you guys were way drunker than both of me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
