I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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