chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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