If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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