Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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