I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
high people should be assigned attendants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
