Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
