i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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