i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
