i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
