Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
