your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize